The Long Letter

Kids will remember
our "most often practiced" attitude.

by Andrew JJ Paton

The Long Letter

They weren't long in content, just long in anticipation. I wrote them years before my kids were old enough to read them. On the envelope I wrote: "To my son at 21." I put each letter in glass frames on their bedroom wall.

This idea was birthed at a Bible study one day when a number of the participants said how much they regretted that one of their parents had died young. They never got to hear what their Dad or Mom thought was important or even heard from them that they were loved. The class decided to use that time to pen what they'd like to impart to their children.

This week I discovered that in 1825 Thomas Jefferson wrote the same kind of letter to a boy named Thomas Jefferson Smith. Notice his motivation in the opening paragraph:

"This letter will, to you, be as one from the dead. The writer will be in the grave before you can weigh its counsels. Your affectionate and excellent father has requested that I would address to you something which might possibly have a favorable influence on the course of life you have to run, and I too, as a namesake, feel an interest in that course."

I know what I put in my letters so I was in haste to study what Jefferson wrote. I was not disappointed:

"Adore God. Reverence and cherish your parents. Love your neighbor as yourself, and your country more than yourself."

Love; true love; that has become the essence of my preaching these days. Love like this is one that crucifies the selfishness by which I'm tempted to use reason to rationalize and justify what's always in my own best interests.

In my letters to my kids I told them that an unusual verse had become the cornerstone of my thinking. It still is. It's a verse that is the heart of Christianity. This verse, when experienced, sets you on a different course than merely being religious.

It's St Paul writing:

Its no longer I who am living, but instead its Christ's Spirit living inside me, and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."

When adoring God is life's first priority it ought to influence our actions. Jefferson suggested that when he continued:

"Be just. Be true.

Murmur not at the ways of Providence." (the name most of the founding fathers used for God)

"So shall the life into which you have entered, be the portal to one of eternal and ineffable bliss." (So, he believed in heaven!)

"And if to the dead it is permitted to care for the things of this world, every action of your life will be under my regard.

Farewell."

The Bible says that the righteous leave an inheritance to their children. There are far better things to leave behind than money.

On my office wall a poster says:

"100 years from now it won't matter what I drove, how I dressed or where I lived, but the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child."

I hoped my letter, written as insurance against my sudden death, was of value to the children who would have survived me. It's a great idea and perhaps you should pen one to your kids or grandchildren.

How about living the kind of life that is a letter to the generations yet to come?

Kids will remember a few exceptional things you said. They will recall a few more of the great things you did, but your prevailing attitudes are the thing they'll remember most about you.

Almost every child knows if they were raised by a grumbler, an optimist, a worrywart, a goal setter, a complimenter or a critic.

We have all done each of those at times but the kids will remember which of them was our most often practiced attitude. That is the legacy you will leave in their minds.

Matthew's 5th chapter says Jesus valued humility, meekness, seeing righteousness, showing mercy, being pure in heart and making peace.

Become proficient in these and you'll leave a gracious legacy.